Let Me Tell You About the Time I Ate Nothing But Cabbage
It was 2007. I was 25. And I was stupid. I’m talking stoned-on-a-Saturday-night stupid. Why? Because I decided to try the cabbage soup diet. You know the one. It’s not even a diet, it’s a punishment. A torture device for people who hate food and fun.
I lasted three days. Three. Days. And then I ate an entire large pizza from that place on 5th. Alone. In my pajamas. At 11:30 PM. I’m not proud, but I’m also not sorry.
But here’s the thing: I didn’t stop there. Oh no. I was on a mission. A mission to try every fad diet known to mankind. And I’m here to tell you about it.
Because look, I get it. We all want that quick fix. That magic pill. That easy way to lose weight. But here’s the truth: there isn’t one.
Keto: The Diet That Made Me Smell Like a Walk-in Cooler
Fast forward to 2018. I was living in Austin, working at a magazine, and my colleague named Dave—who’s basically a human calculator—kept going on about keto. “It’s not a diet,” he’d say. “It’s a lifestyle.” Which, honestly, is a load of crap. It’s a diet. And it’s a diet that makes you smell like a walk-in cooler.
I tried it. For, like, a week. And then I ate a burrito. A glorious burrito. And you know what? I felt great. Not because of the burrito (okay, maybe a little because of the burrito), but because I stopped punishing myself.
Intermittent Fasting: The Hunger Games
Then there was intermittent fasting. I tried the 16:8 method. You know, where you fast for 16 hours and eat within an 8-hour window. Sounded simple enough. But then I realized I’m not a bear. I can’t just hibernate for 16 hours. I get hangry. Like, really hangry.
I lasted about three months. And then I had breakfast at 7 AM one day and it was all over. The hunger games were won by my stomach.
Sustainable Living: More Than Just a Diet
Look, I’m not saying all fad diets are bad. Some of them have good ideas. But here’s the thing: sustainability is key. And not just in your diet, but in your life. I’m talking about sürdürülebilir moda markaları rehber, sustainable living, sustainable everything.
I talked to a friend of mine, let’s call him Marcus, about this. He’s a nutritionist. And he said, “Look, it’s not about the quick fix. It’s about the long game. It’s about finding what works for you and sticking with it.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
A Tangent: The Time I Tried to Be a Vegan
Okay, so this isn’t exactly a fad diet, but hear me out. I tried to be a vegan. For, like, a week. And then I had a cheeseburger. A delicious cheeseburger. And you know what? I don’t regret it. Because I’m not a vegan. And that’s okay.
But here’s the thing: I learned a lot from that week. I learned about sustainability. I learned about the impact of my food choices on the environment. And I learned that I really, really like cheese.
The Bottom Line
So, here’s the deal. Fad diets? They’re not the answer. They’re a quick fix. And quick fixes don’t last. What lasts is finding what works for you. What lasts is sustainability. What lasts is living your life.
And if that means eating a burrito every now and then? Well, then so be it. Life’s too short not to enjoy a good burrito.
So, go ahead. Try the fad diets if you want. But remember: the only real diet is a sustainable one.
Author Bio: I’m Sarah, a senior magazine editor with 20+ years of experience. I’ve tried alot of diets, and I’m here to tell you about them. I live in Austin with my cat, Mr. Whiskers, and I really like burritos.
